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Poor Planning
(Not political, but really fun)

A man who found himself in a personal accident had to fill out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number #8 of the accident reporting form.  I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident.  You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust that the following detail will be sufficient.

I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80' foot communications tower.  When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 lbs. of tools and spare hardware.  Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and materials down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which was fortunately attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.  Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and excess materials into the barrel.  I then went back down the tower to the ground and untied the rope, holding tightly to ensure that I could control the slow descent of the barrel containing the 300 lbs. of tools and hardware.

You will note that in block number #11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 lbs.  Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.  Needless to say that I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower.

In the vicinity of the 40' foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collar bone.  Slowed slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers on my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley located at the top of the gin pole.  Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools and hardware hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools and hardware, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 lbs.  I refer you again to block #11 which shows my weight at 155 lbs.  As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower.

In the vicinity of the 40' foot level, to my surprise, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body.  The encounter with the barrel slowed me down just enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and hardware, and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools and hardware, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80' feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind and I let go of the rope. Well, you can imagine the rest.